And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Life without a bra equals bliss.
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