your parents love me but you hate me
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
