I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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