Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You ruined the universe
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
