I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
high people should be assigned attendants
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
This is my gift to your gina
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
