Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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