I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize