oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
