WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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