Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
