She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize