Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
