Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
