woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
