she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
