whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
