They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
