drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
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Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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