Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I love you. Go after that dick
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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