Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
