The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
