Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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