i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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