You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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