your parents love me but you hate me
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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