Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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