That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
