if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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