Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
