so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
