that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Randomize
