he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
