Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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