two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
