pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Are my feet made of real feet?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize