Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
