so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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