can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Sorry about my life...
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
