mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
