my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
