We tried having a conversation with our noses.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
