I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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