I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
