I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
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is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
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Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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