i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
