I feel great
I just peed on a car
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
