he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
