you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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