Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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