I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
