16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
