That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
