You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
