dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
