I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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