Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
