Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
