This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
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I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
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wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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