a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
