Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
