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• (703): View more from Virginia

  So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets

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• (940): View more from Texas

  I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.

  (1-940): View more from Texas

  Why don't we hang out more often?

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears

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• (424): View more from California

  Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?

  (310): View more from California

  "Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.

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