I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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