Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Randomize
