I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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