you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
