I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
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I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months