I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room