Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?