Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011

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  (919): I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011 http://tfl.nu/zxkw
  Replies (53) Good night (5781) Bad night (1145)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.

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  (219): Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo. http://tfl.nu/ey2b
  Replies (3) Good night (4622) Bad night (800)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?

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  (914): Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later? http://tfl.nu/xxzo
  Replies (20) Good night (4644) Bad night (871)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.

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  (289): It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack. http://tfl.nu/6xg5
  Replies (21) Good night (927) Bad night (7322)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I wish I had a frozen water bed.

  (253): View more from Washington

  best. idea. ever.

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  (734): I wish I had a frozen water bed. (253): best. idea. ever. http://tfl.nu/r1w7
  Replies (58) Good night (5771) Bad night (2048)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4

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  (434): She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4 http://tfl.nu/9o7z
  Replies (45) Good night (2122) Bad night (6780)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.

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  (404): It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning. http://tfl.nu/70c1
  Replies (14) Good night (5157) Bad night (1308)
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  (343): View more from Ontario

  I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time

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  (343): I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time http://tfl.nu/okao
  Replies (3) Good night (3106) Bad night (855)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!

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  (604): Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car! http://tfl.nu/7dcx
  Replies (6) Good night (4940) Bad night (1146)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling

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  (207): I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling http://tfl.nu/w1qs
  Replies (15) Good night (3115) Bad night (667)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.

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  (479): Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle. http://tfl.nu/ldbf
  Replies (11) Good night (2153) Bad night (1040)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle

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  (226): The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle http://tfl.nu/jqp1
  Replies (3) Good night (764) Bad night (838)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.

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  (660): I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now. http://tfl.nu/b4q6
  Replies (5) Good night (1082) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.

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  (318): Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home. http://tfl.nu/6de1
  Replies (1) Good night (607) Bad night (240)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.

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  (832): I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head. http://tfl.nu/ufex
  Replies (1) Good night (414) Bad night (252)

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