Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
