He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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