did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
